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A few days ago, a new dad to be asked me what he could do to help his wife once the baby comes and he goes back to work. Here are my thoughts:

• When you get home, hold the baby.  Don’t take 20 minutes to change your clothes, get a soda, or whatever else.  She has been watching the clock for the last 3 hours, waiting for you to get home, so don’t delay.
• Offer to make dinner.  Give her the option.  She may prefer that you hold the baby while she cooks, but if the baby is sleeping or happy, cook dinner.  Oh, and LET HER EAT FIRST.  She has had all her meals while holding a baby, give her a break.  You can eat later.
• Make sure to notice any house work that she did.  Anything done while caring for a newborn is a miracle. 
• Compliment her.  Say she looks nice, whatever.
• Ask how her day was, both having to do with the baby, and herself.  This is really important.  While pregnant, women get asked constantly how she feels etc.  Suddenly, a week after the baby is born, no one asks anymore.  All questions are about the baby.  To some women this is a let down.  Make sure to ask about HER.  How she is feeling, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Oh, and make sure to listen!
• Make sure she has time to take a shower.  This will help her feel better, more awake, and more relaxed.  Sometimes new moms go days without a shower because its no longer the priority.  Take the lead and make sure she gets a shower.
• Massage something.
• Clean something.  Seriously.

This may seem like a long list, but all steps are vital to having a happy mommy, and thus, happy daddy.

So I previously mentioned that my husband moaned, groaned, and complained his way into a sick day, complete with the house to himself. Here’s another doozy for you: I woke up at 3am to the sound of my husband screaming from the living room. He’s been sleeping in there since my son’s been in the cast. Concerned for his safety, and of not waking up the kids, I went to see what was going on. I found him crawling on the floor, clutching his calf, and yelling that he needed me to rub his leg. A cramp? Good Lord! I rubbed his leg for a minute, told him to quiet down, and went back to bed. How many leg cramps did I have while pregnant? Too many to count. Not to mention the actual labor. I didn’t scream that much giving birth. Clearly, he has no tolerance for pain. The next day he told me that he might have trouble driving long distances because of his “leg injury”. Uhh, men.

I bought this thing today for my baby called a Taggie.  It is a blanket with little ribbons attached all around.  It follows the theory that babies love the little tags on everything, so why not make a blanket covered in them.  The only thing is that I paid $20 for this stupid thing.  It is about a dollar worth of supplies, figure in time to make it and ship it, and there is still huge profit to be made.  I know that I could make one, but since I’ve never done it, it might take me a while, and the time involved when you have 2 babies makes it not worth it.  Whoever invented this thing, then decided to sell it to chump moms like me is a genius.  Props to you, Taggie inventor!!

Men are such babies when they are sick.  My husband was recently sick with some standard stomach bug/food illness.  Vomiting, stomach cramps, etc.; the usual.  Yes, I’ll admit it was probably not pleasant.  However, he made such an ordeal of it.  He refused to do anything with the kids, even hold them, because he said he was too weak.  I have been that sick and stayed home alone with both kids, so give me a break.  THe worst part though, he moans.  Whenever he is sick he wants me to totally baby him.  Uh, I have two actual babies, I don’t need a full grown one.  The moaning got so bad that I took the kids and left him at home to fend for himself.  Hmm, a day at home, alone, no kids, no spouse; I think I need a sick day.

So I just saw Made of Honor (my first trip to a theater is almost a year thank you). The movie was pretty good, and predictable, but then most romantic comedies are. I’m not big on watching Grey’s Anatomy, so I don’t see Patrick Dempsy often, but I had to wonder, what’s all the fuss about. The whole McDreamy thing is a mystery to me, I don’t get it. He’s kind of funny looking really, big crooked nose, droopy face, short. I kept thinking about his dorky movies from the eighties, namely Can’t Buy Me Love (great 80’s flick if you haven’t seen it) where he plays a dorky kids who pays for a popular girl to date him. He played dorky so well, then he stopped acting for 20 years and now is Dreamy? I just don’t see it. Props to him for turning the image around. That kid from 16 Candles will never be anything but dorky.

I love being a stay-at-home mom to my two kids.  We stay in or go out, but we play all day.  It can however, get a little lonely.  My two year old is getting better at talking, but not the witty conversationalist with whom I can share my deep thoughts.  His deep thoughts are “have poopy mommy”.  Ok, so there have to be other moms in this situation, right?  I live in a family area with kids all around, don’t any of these moms stay home?  I never see them during the day.  I can’t seem to find anyone in my area to make play dates with.  Anyone else have this problem?

So I love Sweet Tomatoes Restaurant, and going with my family.  It’s a soup and salad buffet place with lots of extras.  I get salad, my son gets pizza (disguised at ‘focaccia bread’), and if my baby cries, it’s not too bad, because the dining area is informal and loud anyways.  My only problem, my husband.  From the moment we get in there, he turns into this crazed animal searching for food.  His favorite thing; meat, namely chicken.  The only place to find it is in the chunky chicken noodle soup.  There are huge pieces of chicken breast, and he spends lots of time at the buffet scooping out all the chicken, leaving broth and noodles for everyone else.  I don’t feel too bad, because I’ve seen other men do this; it’s the only way the wives can get them to agree to go.  Ok, so he scoops out the chicken who cares, right?  Well the last few times we’ve gone the chicken noodle soup has been empty when we get there.  Forget talking to him, he’s on a mission.  He spends the next 20 minutes popping up out of his seat and checking the bin for more soup.  His eyes dart around and his breathing rate increases.  His muscles get all tense.  I really think he thinks that they will put out the soup and 100’s of men will charge the soup station looking for meat.  Finally, he told an employee that the soup was empty (what a novel thought) and they put out more.  Ah, sweet victory.  He sits down, calm.  “This is fun,” he says.  “I like this place.”  I roll my eyes.